5 Products That Are A Woman’s Best Friend

My phone read 3:25 a.m., when I woke up with my body blazing with another hot flash.

Throwing off the covers, I rooted around for my leg pillow and propped my ankles on top of the cool gel. It immediately gave me some relief and it reminded me of Victorian women  who would fan their ankles under long dresses and layers of petticoats. Something as simple as a cool cloth wrapped around hot legs can solve all your problems.

Ankles are a woman’s best friend.

Ankles are not really appreciated for all their hard work. Women don’t really obsess over ankles anymore. Oh I need an ankle lift, or I’m having ankle implants. I do have some significant tendon problems in the area but it’s certainly not a vanity situation. It’s not unusual for my brain to go down the rabbit hole with random thoughts, so I spent the next minutes thinking about a conversation I had in the 1980s, with a lady, about her ankles.

While in college, I worked at a local antique store with Mrs. Simpson. She was a precious lady with a tiny waist and she always wore long full skirts that hung almost to the floor. She said it was to hide the fact that she didn’t have ankles. She clearly had ankles but she referred to them as “cankles”. She shared her view that ankles were a woman’s best friend. I didn’t understand this notion at the time and honestly I still don’t. It must have afflicted that  generation of pencil skirt and pump wearing women.

Back in that day, women like my Mother, dressed “to the nines” before they stepped outside. I’m excited that coat weather is coming so I can pretend to be clothed under my coat when I run to Dollar General. It is truly nice to throw something over my “Hello Kitty” nightshirt. Business on the outside and a party on the inside.

I am not of that impeccable generation, so I don’t really look at ankles or notice if someone has fat or thin ankles. The closest thing that I have experienced regarding observations of my lower leg was a comment my mother made about my feet. She said my feet were so small she didn’t know how they held me up! I would like to think that was a compliment on the daintiness of my feet, but I’m afraid it wasn’t taken that way.

When I was a teenager flat rear ends were the fashion. Those horrific high waisted pants really stretched a butt out. My favorites were the Gotcha Covered Jeans. To have a pancake flat backside was a real accomplishment. Now society has a completely opposite opinion of what constitutes a fine rear. Implants and lifts and padded panties are used to give that Kardashian look.

I’m so thankful that I grew up in the 1970’s and didn’t have the pressure of social media comparing my caboose to every caboose in the world.

Every generation has an opinion regarding the perfect woman figure. Just imagine Vivian Leigh’s 13 inch waist! Never could I come close to that without removing all of my ribs. I have a Bath and Body Candle larger than that.

All of this randomness continued until around  4:00 a.m. when I started mulling around the things that really could be a woman’s best friend.

Of course I have heard diamonds may top that list but in reality, they do little for hot flashes, dry skin or frizzy hair. You have to get past all the day to day reality to sport the diamonds. I started making one of my lists of the items I consider to be game changers, or really the 5 essentials that make life worth living. I have provided some affiliate links below.

1. Head Wrap– As a sleep apnea sufferer I get to wear that lovely CPAP at night. My unruly and wiry hair gets tangled in the head straps and I wake up when insanely aggressive hair. SO, I discovered that if I wear a “turban” it helps contain this hair and I sleep much better. I wear one for a couple of nights and pitch it in the wash. They make a pretty good shower cap and come in a multi-pack which lasts forever. I have forgotten to bring one on an out of town trip and resorted to wearing someone’s panties on my head. Desperate times..https://amzn.to/3R5evU0

   

2. Jockey Elance Panties- On a comfort scale of 1-10 these are a solid 8. They don’t come cheap but they are well worth it. You must get the Elance style because they are all cotton and have tiny air conditioning holes. Only a man would design ladies panties that don’t have cotton in those essential areas. These do last a really long time and probably would last longer if my dog Oscar wasn’t fond of eating the nether regions out of our drawers. https://amzn.to/3G6T0fh
3. Bamboo Back Scratcher– These babies come in a pack of 6 and are lifesavers when no one is around to scratch that unreachable spot. Z like to rub his back on the wall like an old bear but aht doesn’t work for me. Metal spatulas and forks work pretty well, but people frown on you using eating utensils to scratch your body parts. I have these bamboo scratchers everywhere including my truck, by my chair and in my luggage. They have a nice little curved handle, which comes in handy for picking up things that fall out of my purse into the passenger floorboard https://amzn.to/47DRi0F
4. Linsy Living Pillow– I’m that weirdo in the hotel lobby with luggage and her own pillow. It’s possible for me to sleep on a terrible mattress as long as I have my own pillow. I purchased a new mattress and it came with 2 pillows which are spectacular but I haven’t been able to locate the exact pillow again. I have found one that is pretty close to it though. https://amzn.to/3QCLldiThis pillow is nice and heavy so it doesn’t squish down and hurt my neck. Of course it’s a cool one too in case you get hot ankles!
5. Anti Monkey Butt Powder– Lady Anti Monkey Butt( pink bottle) is my favorite. If you have chunky thighs and sweaty spots, this stuff really helps. https://amzn.to/46nnTqD Kids like it too and the smell isn’t overwhelming. There is a baby version and they are all talc free, which is great since talc is suspected as a link to cancer.